All I want to say about relationships is said in this very beautiful song:
http://thebollywoodfan.blogspot.com/2008/08/pyaasa-lyrics-and-translation-tang-aa.html
Don't know why I attach so much importance to relationships! Anyways, they all suck after a while.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Satyam Projects-the inside story
Life drags its feet heavily.
What turmoil with the Satyam ship sinking heavily!
Change throws me off guard and such quick changes in the last few days!
7th January was when the disastrous news broke and it was like all hell had broken loose.
I was aghast...but hadn't realized then that that was only the beginning of a roller coaster ride of emotions.
What followed was utter chaos...what happened then is largely splashed in papers for all to see but what’s happening inside is another story...
The competing corporates claim not to be poaching but that's on...albeit surreptiously.
Our project was unique as the client himself proposed that the project along with the entire team be moved to a competitor! This was supposed to be their BCP!
We were given very few days to choose and making the choice was so difficult.
I opted to stay back and then the psychological games begun!
People asking why I had chosen to sail with a company that will drown any moment!
I was yo-yoing wildly unable to know whether I had made the right choice...
But what I am unprepared for is the depression that’s followed this whole chaos...
When my mind was so made up that I am gong to lose the entire team and had developed a sense of detachment, what I get to hear is that Satyam is now again trying to woo the client back!
For the last month or so I wasn’t feeling too comfortable about my role in my current project and wanted to ask for an enhancement of role when all this happened.
I was relieved thinking that I can take a break and then look for working in a new project when it comes... hoping that a new project would bring a change in responsibilities.
Something has changed and I am sure that if and when we continue working on the project, nothing is going to remain the same ever...those who opted to leave may be looked upon as pariahs...something has definitely broken and will not join again!
What turmoil with the Satyam ship sinking heavily!
Change throws me off guard and such quick changes in the last few days!
7th January was when the disastrous news broke and it was like all hell had broken loose.
I was aghast...but hadn't realized then that that was only the beginning of a roller coaster ride of emotions.
What followed was utter chaos...what happened then is largely splashed in papers for all to see but what’s happening inside is another story...
The competing corporates claim not to be poaching but that's on...albeit surreptiously.
Our project was unique as the client himself proposed that the project along with the entire team be moved to a competitor! This was supposed to be their BCP!
We were given very few days to choose and making the choice was so difficult.
I opted to stay back and then the psychological games begun!
People asking why I had chosen to sail with a company that will drown any moment!
I was yo-yoing wildly unable to know whether I had made the right choice...
But what I am unprepared for is the depression that’s followed this whole chaos...
When my mind was so made up that I am gong to lose the entire team and had developed a sense of detachment, what I get to hear is that Satyam is now again trying to woo the client back!
For the last month or so I wasn’t feeling too comfortable about my role in my current project and wanted to ask for an enhancement of role when all this happened.
I was relieved thinking that I can take a break and then look for working in a new project when it comes... hoping that a new project would bring a change in responsibilities.
Something has changed and I am sure that if and when we continue working on the project, nothing is going to remain the same ever...those who opted to leave may be looked upon as pariahs...something has definitely broken and will not join again!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Slum Dog Millionaire
Saw this movie yesterday.
I went with a lot of expectation as people the world over are going gaga over the movie.
The premier at India had our Bollywood people also gushing about it. I usually get to see a movie at least 7-10 days after release. But this time goaded by all the hype, I went to see it the very next day.
After seeing it, I feel I should not have gone to see the movie.
One, I do not like such bleak, dark movies. When one comes out of a movie hall, one should come out smiling and not morose. What’s the use of seeing reality in movies too? Don’t we have enough of misery, cruelty, suffering, insensitivity, brazenness all round us?
And to what extent does one portray realism? I get a deeply yucky feeling seeing all that shit in the movie. Beauty of expression is when things are left unsaid (or here unseen). That limit crossed, it becomes gross!
Even leaving aside all the debate about why the darker side of India is shown etc., I felt that winning of the 2 crore was too contrived ...too coincidental that all the questions asked related to his life and therefore he was able to answer them.
Next, why does the supposedly English movie have so many Hindi dialogs? Looks funny when Anil Kapoor speaks Hindi and the slum dog, Jamal, speaks English.
On the positive side, the individual performances were brilliant...the usual flamboyant Anil Kapoor giving such brilliantly restrained action...Irfan, as usual great; the kids putting in a seamless performance...and even Dev Patel was good as a gawky teen, his chaiwala scenes were brilliantly written and enacted.
If the movie is nominated for so many Oscars, it’s perhaps due to the Western obsession with movies depicting poverty/ calamity.
I went with a lot of expectation as people the world over are going gaga over the movie.
The premier at India had our Bollywood people also gushing about it. I usually get to see a movie at least 7-10 days after release. But this time goaded by all the hype, I went to see it the very next day.
After seeing it, I feel I should not have gone to see the movie.
One, I do not like such bleak, dark movies. When one comes out of a movie hall, one should come out smiling and not morose. What’s the use of seeing reality in movies too? Don’t we have enough of misery, cruelty, suffering, insensitivity, brazenness all round us?
And to what extent does one portray realism? I get a deeply yucky feeling seeing all that shit in the movie. Beauty of expression is when things are left unsaid (or here unseen). That limit crossed, it becomes gross!
Even leaving aside all the debate about why the darker side of India is shown etc., I felt that winning of the 2 crore was too contrived ...too coincidental that all the questions asked related to his life and therefore he was able to answer them.
Next, why does the supposedly English movie have so many Hindi dialogs? Looks funny when Anil Kapoor speaks Hindi and the slum dog, Jamal, speaks English.
On the positive side, the individual performances were brilliant...the usual flamboyant Anil Kapoor giving such brilliantly restrained action...Irfan, as usual great; the kids putting in a seamless performance...and even Dev Patel was good as a gawky teen, his chaiwala scenes were brilliantly written and enacted.
If the movie is nominated for so many Oscars, it’s perhaps due to the Western obsession with movies depicting poverty/ calamity.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
The beggar
My sojourns in the local train everyday bring me close to different cross sections of the society which otherwise I would be deprived of.
One of the happenings yesterday…
We were three of us traveling together…my colleague, Sheetal and a friend of my colleague, Harini, (another Satyamite) & I. We were talking about, what else, but happenings in Satyam, when there was the usual sight of a ten year old boy come sweeping the train floor with a cloth. Harini gave him a rupee. This started the discussion about why we mustn’t give alms…her justification was that this was in exchange of labor and not free…but Sheetal and I still opposed her …
A little while later there was another beggar with (again, as usual, a child in her arms) begging. We shooed her away.
Later Harini was eating an apple and the boy to whom she had given a rupee, sprang towards her almost grabbing the apple from her hands… she was taken aback at his audacity!
After 5 minutes, we see that this boy had gone back to his mother…the beggar with a baby in her hands, clinging to her and about to get down at the next station.
Then the beggar’s mobile rang…
We stared at her, mouths agape. Harini had learnt her lesson.
One of the happenings yesterday…
We were three of us traveling together…my colleague, Sheetal and a friend of my colleague, Harini, (another Satyamite) & I. We were talking about, what else, but happenings in Satyam, when there was the usual sight of a ten year old boy come sweeping the train floor with a cloth. Harini gave him a rupee. This started the discussion about why we mustn’t give alms…her justification was that this was in exchange of labor and not free…but Sheetal and I still opposed her …
A little while later there was another beggar with (again, as usual, a child in her arms) begging. We shooed her away.
Later Harini was eating an apple and the boy to whom she had given a rupee, sprang towards her almost grabbing the apple from her hands… she was taken aback at his audacity!
After 5 minutes, we see that this boy had gone back to his mother…the beggar with a baby in her hands, clinging to her and about to get down at the next station.
Then the beggar’s mobile rang…
We stared at her, mouths agape. Harini had learnt her lesson.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
2009
It seems only yesterday when I was looking forward with awe at the prospect of turn of the century. 2000 seemed something, when from childhood we used to sign the date as 19xx.
My memories of signing the date go back to my Class 1 when in the left margin of the page above the first line, I used to diagonally write the date and underline it. So used to do it from Class 1(earliest memories of school). It used to be 1-2-1969 for example. I used to think that I would be in my thirties in the 2000. This itself used to awe me…imagine being in your 30s…
But it’s already 9 years since 2000!
What did 2009 bring me?
Stepped into 2009…or rather limped into 2009 with a torn ligament on the left upper part of the left foot. It was on the 20th of December…well that’s another story to tell…on the 13th of January I still am limping all over.
My memories of signing the date go back to my Class 1 when in the left margin of the page above the first line, I used to diagonally write the date and underline it. So used to do it from Class 1(earliest memories of school). It used to be 1-2-1969 for example. I used to think that I would be in my thirties in the 2000. This itself used to awe me…imagine being in your 30s…
But it’s already 9 years since 2000!
What did 2009 bring me?
Stepped into 2009…or rather limped into 2009 with a torn ligament on the left upper part of the left foot. It was on the 20th of December…well that’s another story to tell…on the 13th of January I still am limping all over.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
The Satyam Saga
On the 7th of January there seemed a major earthquake in life what with the Satyam MD confessing to a huge fraud! The head spun at the magnitude of the scam! It gave an almost orgasmic feeling…a kind of feeling one gets at viewing accidents …the gore that holds one captive…I was struck to the TV the entire day…unable to move; work forgotten at home…
And then, it started... all the skeletons tumbling out from the closet….as they dug deeper.
Rumors, speculations ruled the TV…people calling me seemingly sympathizing but obviously gloating over the possibility of a damned job.
Inside Satyam, there was desolation, a sense of anger aimed against Raju…but very very surprisingly, lot of support for Raju as well…some deep sense of dedication..to try and shield Raju from lot of allegations leveled at him…though most of them were right.
From senior leadership, there were mails and calls of assurances everyday, posting and updating on what was happening and at the same time asking us to keep our chin up. I could see the fear in people's eyes at the prospect of not getting the next month's salary ...people who have splurged money on luxuries who are upto their eyes in mortgages. One of my youngest team members who had just splurged on a Swift(5.5 laks) was worried about how to pay back.
Meanwhile the temptation of the client wooing us with a job…I have seen everything that could possibly happen in the corporate world…
The Directors were thrown out to be replaced by the Govt. appointed ones. These directors seem to have unearthed more dirt! The Satyam Social service (108 Service) too didn’t remain untouched. Aspersions are cast as they dug more dirt. Apart from that, the facts known to people are presented on the TV as though just discovered just to enhance the enormity of the offense.
We as employees aren’t sure of what’s happening, especially as each day unravels a new story. I will keep posting about each day's development esp. from an insider's perspective.
And then, it started... all the skeletons tumbling out from the closet….as they dug deeper.
Rumors, speculations ruled the TV…people calling me seemingly sympathizing but obviously gloating over the possibility of a damned job.
Inside Satyam, there was desolation, a sense of anger aimed against Raju…but very very surprisingly, lot of support for Raju as well…some deep sense of dedication..to try and shield Raju from lot of allegations leveled at him…though most of them were right.
From senior leadership, there were mails and calls of assurances everyday, posting and updating on what was happening and at the same time asking us to keep our chin up. I could see the fear in people's eyes at the prospect of not getting the next month's salary ...people who have splurged money on luxuries who are upto their eyes in mortgages. One of my youngest team members who had just splurged on a Swift(5.5 laks) was worried about how to pay back.
Meanwhile the temptation of the client wooing us with a job…I have seen everything that could possibly happen in the corporate world…
The Directors were thrown out to be replaced by the Govt. appointed ones. These directors seem to have unearthed more dirt! The Satyam Social service (108 Service) too didn’t remain untouched. Aspersions are cast as they dug more dirt. Apart from that, the facts known to people are presented on the TV as though just discovered just to enhance the enormity of the offense.
We as employees aren’t sure of what’s happening, especially as each day unravels a new story. I will keep posting about each day's development esp. from an insider's perspective.
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